


Giving Up, Giving In

by OnCloud1Instead



Series: Refusal [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Brotherly Love, Denial, Incest, M/M, Male Solo, Masturbation, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:43:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4262088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnCloud1Instead/pseuds/OnCloud1Instead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And each time Sasuke told himself he wouldn't give in again for that man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giving Up, Giving In

He had had enough. He wouldn't give in. Not again… not ever.

Right?

Sasuke brang his fist to the wall for the hundredth time that night. Why couldn't he just have one night? One night where his mind wasn't plagued with… thoughts of him.

He wasn't stupid. He was letting him overpower him. That person -  _that man_ , invaded his thoughts at the most unsuspecting times of the day. While he trained with Orochimaru… while Kabuto ran tests on his curse mark… while he meditated…

Sasuke was tired of it. He couldn't take it. He couldn't handle the effects of his thoughts. The infuriating desire… the raging hunger. He succumbed to it every single night he thought about that man in his bed.

Sasuke leaned his back against the wall of his small dark room. They had just moved to this new hideout. It bordered Grass Country and like most of Orochimaru's hideouts, resided underground. Sasuke had just chosen one of the many rooms to bunk in and claimed this one as his own. It wasn't like they'd be staying long anyway.

Orochimaru was teaching him new techniques, showing him how to perfect his own, helping him learn how to control his summons. It was good work and Sasuke felt himself growing stronger by the day. Of course, he already was aware of Orochimaru only using him for his own selfish desires. Sasuke would never let him get the chance though.

 _I'd have to kill him soon_ , Sasuke idly thought looking into the darkness.

But after he killed Orochimaru, then what?

He sure wasn't going to stroll back into Konoha like nothing ever happened. His overall goal in leaving Konoha to accept training from Orochimaru was to ultimately get stronger. Achieve the strength he knew wouldn't be possible to get from Konoha.

All to kill, that one man. The one man that he despised calling his brother, Itachi Uchiha.

The one man that plagued his thoughts by day and became the catalyst for his nights of no sleep at night.

It had all started as Sasuke turned 13. He'd been living with Orochimaru for a few months then. Orochimaru had dreadfully reminded him that because he was a teenage boy, he would soon experience the effects of his hormones trying to regulate themselves and going into overdrive.

Not that Sasuke hadn't known that already. It was just creepy to be reminded by Orochimaru.

His first night, he'd been in his own small room in bed, staring up at the wall, and thinking back to how things had been before the massacre.

The deceit, the lies.

He thought of how much he had admired his brother. How he had looked at him almost as if he was a god. He had loved him… then.

And he remembered a point right before the massacre occurred, that he knew that the love he felt for his brother wasn't just as a sibling love. He'd even told Itachi that he wanted to be his boyfriend, embarrassing as it was now.

Itachi had just looked over at Sasuke in shock, chuckled lightly, and poked him on his forehead.

After the massacre, he had been too blinded by his rage, feelings of betrayal and his determination to get stronger to focus on such ridiculous feelings. A shinobi was supposed to be an emotionless tool after all.

But then, as Sasuke laid in bed suddenly sporting a hard-on just aching to be relieved… he'd realized how latent those feelings had really been.

Nights similar to the first had happened even more after that. He had started off with only imagining how beautiful Itachi had still looked when he last saw him when he was 12. The contours of his face, the indifference of his presence, the smoothness of his hair, his sharp eyes.

But it seemed as he got older, things just got worse.

He'd imagine Itachi doing lewd things with him, Sasuke shivering under Itachi’s touches, caresses and kisses. And finally, Itachi would take him from behind, whispering sweet nothings into his ear while rubbing his back soothingly and Sasuke would love every minute of it.

 _This wasn't supposed to happen._ It was wrong on so many levels. This man had murdered all of his family and left him to suffer in solitude. He was supposed to hate him, despise him, _kill_ him.

This man was also a male who was his brother. It wasn't right of him to be thinking of him like this at all. But instead of hating Itachi for ruining his life and killing his whole family, Sasuke found himself hating him for making him feel this way.

This lust, this desire - this love.

These feelings that lead him to where he is now.

He didn't want to do it. He didn't want to give in. But after doing it for so many nights, it was so hard, so infuriatingly difficult to stop it.

He told himself every night that he would stop, that it'd be his last night indulging in such inappropriate desires. But each night, he'd give up and leave it to another day for him to stop.

And it looked like, as Sasuke moved his hand over his clothed chest, past his navel, and undid his purple belt, that tonight would be another one of those nights.

As the belt hit the floor, Sasuke began palming himself slowly over the material of his pants. He closed his eyes, gasping lightly at every spark of pleasure that wracked his being as he touched himself.

He pushed off the wall and leaned his head back on it. He couldn't bear look at himself performing such sinful acts.

He palmed faster and faster, gasping more louder as he picked up the speed. After a while he had felt his pants been wet with pre-cum. His cock pulsated almost painfully, waiting to be released from the confines of Sake’s black pants.

He pulled them down to where his throbbing, flushed cock sprang free and took his length into his hands finally, groaning at the friction. Then he began moving.

He stroked around the slit, spreading around the pre-cum collecting at the top to lessen the friction at first then moved his hands up and down his rigid length at a good pace. He bit his lips to muffle the moans that tried to escape them but he could still hear them.

All the while, Sasuke imagined Itachi taking him against a tree in the forest, stoking his cock as Sasuke cried out in intense pleasure and love for his older brother.

It was sickening. He was disgusted with himself... he loved it.

Sasuke had kept his eyes shut the entire time he touched himself, his moans growing louder as he inched closer and closer to the edge and moved even faster on his cock. His hips bucked desperately as his stomach coiled, unable to handle the heat.

Now each stroke brang out a deep moan as he felt his climax near. His brother's name became a mantra repeated over and over in his brain while his hand worked in overdrive.

_Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi…_

“Itachi...” he whispered breathlessly for the last time.

He finally came, his eyes half-lidded and clouded with lust as he continued stroking out his intense orgasm, spurts of cum landing on the floor in front of him as his hips continued to buck.

When the last spew of cum landed on the floor and Sasuke began panting, coming down from his sexual high, he wallowed in the afterglow, unable to think clearly leaning against the wall.

Minutes passed… and he'd finally calmed down enough to have a clear mind and realized what he had done.

Turning around towards the wall, he rested his arm on it and looked down. He still hadn't pulled up his pants, his hand was still covered in cum and he was breathing slowly.

Sasuke wanted to cry but he knew he couldn't, for his tears had dried up with the blood of his massacred family members.

He was stuck. He would never be able to get over the enigma named Itachi.

A murderer, his brother and his love.

Tonight wouldn't be the night he would finally stop this madness.

Sasuke let out a loud yell and banged his head against the wall in defeat.

Tonight was the night he accepted his love for his own blood.

**Author's Note:**

> HEY!  
> So I'm pretty new at this site  
> Not reading or writing fanfic wise...  
> I'm just new here but anyway, here you have it, my first work!  
> I'll be posting a lot more explicit stuff like this on this account very soon.  
> Check my profile for my site on fanfiction.net and my tumblr account!
> 
> P.S. - I have decided to make this work part of a three-part series!


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